propaganda

I still remember my first copy of Propaganda. The night before, I saw the Cocteau Twins video for Heaven or Las Vegas. It was my first time hearing the band and I was in love. I went to Atomic Records the next day after school. It was the the last semester of 8th grade. The Cocteau Twins made that summer tolerable, along with said copy of Propaganda (which I only noticed because the Cocteau Twins were listed on the cover) and of course, LOST SOULS by Poppy Z. Brite. But that's another post...

I remember my very last, a frenzied bidding war on Ebay, for the exact same copy that was my first. The one I held so dear, carrying in my bookbag to hid from my mom, between notebooks to hide from teachers, between the mattresses as I slept at night. It was my guarded, secret, a guidebook for depravation, fashionable bisexuality and of course the dark, arty music that would mold my awkward teenage life into something veering towards sophistication. Little did i know, I was just entering an extra cocoon of adolescence, as goth wasn't exactly considered stylish until about 2001 when Moulin Rouge came out. By that time, i had moved on to neofolk.

I owe my eyeliner skills to this issue of Propaganda magazine, and this spread in particular.

Details!

I have no idea what became of the magazine. The last issue I saw was a fairly disappointing affair with some kind of hijab fetish type shoot that I couldn't stomach. There was also that upsetting fascination with Marilyn Manson...

At it's height, it was a portal to a world which may have only existed in my head. But oh, what a world!